Justin Law Was My Wedding Priest
by Ziarrah
Summary: Do you ever regret getting married? And isn't just so freaking great when your wedding was a big, expensive, screwed up mess in the first place? Not to mention that Justin Law was there. Joy. T for laguage and etc; certain pairing not said inside
1. Weddings, right?

**Hey there kids! Here's a little something I like to call…**

**Justin Law Was My Wedding Priest: The Prolouge**

**~:StoryTime:~**

Have you ever had marital problems?

No?

...

WELL THEN.

You are very lucky...

And probably you waited until you found the "right person" or until you were mid or late twenties.

Hey guess what? I didn't! Divorces are so happy. Especially when you think about the wedding.

Man. Weddings, right? God. You think that they're all fun and pretty and easy.

**You're dead wrong**.

_My_ wedding? Ugh. _My_ wedding… It was just, ugh. That's how I would describe it: ugh.

Now, don't get me wrong, I loved my wife, at the time. And, of course, she thought the wedding was beautiful. It was, too. But the decorations were the only thing that was right. Here's my list of everything that went wrong:

01; Her family is a bunch of pigs. They don't like me, not One. Little. Bit. I don't understand why either.

02; For this reason, my family doesn't like her family, but they like her? Not to mention the fact that,

03; three quarters of my family are heavy drinkers.

04 The chef was sick the day of our wedding, so the heaviest drinker in my family, Aunt Rita, was the substitute.

06; Our wedding planner had a nervous breakdown right in the middle, saying something like "What was I thinking? I-I don't know how to deal with weddings!" Then this little creature popped out of her back and beat her up.

07; Death the Kid decided to try to make everything symmetrical. He succeeded, but it was hell along the way.

08; Black Star was my best man. Worst choice ever…

09; Someone had the balls to make Maka mad while my wife and I were saying our vows. So there was a random book thrown across the room, that missed the person that pissed her off, and hit one of my wife's temperamental cousins. What a joy that was. Although, I have to admit, I love cat fights.

10; The reception. There's too many things wrong with the reception to list them all.

11; The pictures.

And finally, 12; **Justin Law was our wedding priest.**

Okay, if any of you are still reading, you're probably wondering who I am. Well, here's my answer: You'll figure out along the way if you haven't guessed already. I mean, reread and you'll see all of my "subtle" hints. Now, here's how my wedding went…

**~:StoryTime'sOver:~**

**Heehee. Sorry it's short. And I left you with a cliffhangar too. I'm so horrible.**


	2. Pictures, Symmetry Problems 1 and 2

**Chapter Uno~**

**Two hours before the ceremonies…**

Sweating bullets, I anxiously tugged at my shirt collar. My older brother, who was one of my groomsmen, started whining at me about the heat. And yes, I said _older_ brother. "Jeez! Your "special day" just _had_ on be on the hottest recorded day this summer! I heard it on the news on the way here. They say that this is **hot**, even for a desert!"

"It's hot. I get it asshole," I informed my older brother. I didn't need him contributing to my misery.

We, as in my groomsmen, photographer, wedding planner and I, were outside taking pictures of this memorable day in the wretched heat. I still don't understand why the two women insisted on alfresco portraits. But I swear I'll never understand how our wedding planner could wear a black dress in this heat! She's so pale too. (She discovered that she was sun burnt later on.)

My best man, Black Star if you recall, was so dumbly lucky. He showed up in a tux with the sleeves ripped off. He said something about his "godly" muscles needing air? And worst of all, since Black Star arrived in a tux different from the other guys' suits, Death the Kid started shitting bricks about the "symmetry of the pictures".

Oh yeah, my groomsmen were: My brother (obviously), Kid, and Edward Elric. Ed's an old buddy o' mine, and he'd brought his brother Alphonse with him too.

I was tempted to ask Ox to be a groomsmen, but he was a little pissed at me. Note to imaginary viewers: Never marry your friend's obsession.

The next thing I knew, I was being lifted off the ground. I shrieked... sort of.

"What the hell?--Put Me Down!" Black Star laughed in that annoying way that he always does.

"I will not! It is custom for the man of the day to be lifted by the man of the universe," The oaf boasted.

I groaned and thought, '_Oh great. He's the man of the universe now? What happened to being "god"?_'

"Black Star, that's not a custom. Not anywhere," Kid informed "the man of the universe".

Black Star frowned. "Not even in Jordan, Switzerland, Azerbaijan, or Wyoming?"

I looked at the ninja questioningly, wondering how he knew about Azerbaijan and why he threw in the state of Wyoming, and I'm pretty sure that everyone else was sporting the same quizzical expression. I spoke up, "Yep."

Followed by Ed adding, "Isn't Wyoming a state?"

Black Star set me down and crossed his arms in thought. The two began to converse about this, while Kid and I stood in silence. After a few moments, I glanced back at Crona and my old teacher for a little help. The latter got the message. She clapped her hands, hammers now, together, creating a large boom.

The duo previously immerged in conversation stared at the blonde woman.

I phased out for a second while Marie was telling us about the next picture, but I tuned right back in when Crona asked...

"Where's Mr. Wes?"

As if an answer to the question, there were multiple feminine squeals and something like "omg it's Wes Evans" and "it's that famous violinist" and "he's so cute" and "woah, why does he look like Soul".

Oh yeah, I'd never told anyone, besides my ex, that I had a brother. But that horror is for later.

Lazily I shouted, "Wes! Get back out here and have some damn pictures taken!" I was exasperated from the heat and everything that had happened in the last ten minutes. I just wanted to get it over with and go inside to the nice air conditioning. And damn it, if I had to be out here, then Wes **SURE AS HELL** did too.

* * *

Now I would love to say that after we got back inside, everything went according to plan. But I just didn't have that kind of luck with me that day.

The five of us were waiting inside of the of the groom's room (What? Do you have a better name for it?) for the ceremony to begin, which was two hours away. Spontaneously, Black Star screamed, "Crap! I forgot Tsubaki!" He dashed out of the room, then the church. Again, we were struck silent by the air of Black Star's stupidity.

Ed said, "I should go find Al," and also went out. That left Wes and I alone.

'_Wait_,' I thought, '_Where's Ki--_'

My unfinished thought was met with a loud crashing noise and a scream of terror. Wes's eyes were nearly bulging out of his socket's from surprise. "...What the hell was that?" He asked me. I sighed and told him about Kid's OCD.

Another break, another scream.

My brother gave me a look of sympathy and I just shrugged. "Honestly, after 9 years with this guy, I'm used to it," I said.

"PATTY!!!! GET DOWN FROM THERE - No, no, no, no! Liz! That's all crooked - I MEAN IT MISSY!!! GET DOWN! NOW!"

I sighed and told my brother, "I better go check this out..." He nodded as I headed out.

* * *

"--Don't think I won't call the cops on you just because you're my little sister!"

**"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"**

"Liz~.... You left the banner asymmetrical~..."

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!?" I exclaimed through all the fuss. I shouldn't have asked though, because what I got was all three of them explaining themselves to me... simultaneously.


End file.
